FIFTY SHADES OF BROWN

shades 3

I ride the Bx 6 bus a lot, being a freelance handyman. I go to the Home Depot at the Bronx Terminal market, just across the Harlem River. I get on the Bx 6 on Amsterdam and 155th Street; take the 6-minute ride to River Avenue and 161st Street, just across the street from Yankee Stadium, where I either catch the Bx 13 bus to the market 11 blocks down River Avenue or walk. Most times I opt to wait for the bus.

After a few of these rides, I noticed everyone on the bus was a person of color; I have yet to see a white person either on the Bx 6 or the Bx 13.

shades 1

The woman at the front of the bus in this photo is Asian, and she counts in my book as a shade of brown thanks to Colonel “Shorty” Tall, a character in James Jones’ The Thin Red Line who referred to the Japanese soldiers as “our little brown brothers.”

Asians used to be referred to as “yellow” people, but the only yellow people I’ve ever met were people with a serious case of hepatitis. Most Asians range from the pale pink of white people to mahogany, which was my dad’s color.
I’m a little lighter, because my mom was pretty white, being descended from Spanish, Mexican, and some kind of white European blood from her grandfather; who was part of the French Foreign legion force abandoned in Mexico after the Emperor Maximillian (an Austrian) was overthrown. I guess I am what they call “olive complexioned.”

Most of the people on these buses are either African-American or Dominican.

I used to work for a guy who was a self-described “White Dominican.” He was a shade lighter than me, with the same curly black hair. His wife was NOT a “white Dominican,” being a shade or two darker than me. She also has coarser hair than the average white person, but not the tight thick curls of the African. I noticed most Dominican women of this complexion have the same hair. I also remember she was always accusing him of being racist.

There is a saying that we are all a little bit racist, and I believe that to be a little bit true.

shades 2

Years ago I worked with Chinese people in Chinatown, (where else!) and I worked with a guy named Luis, who was from Hong Kong. To me he looked like an average Chinese person from Hong Kong, a shade or two lighter than me, but slightly different from most whites. One day we had a discussion involving Koreans.
“Well aren’t they the same as you, Asian?” I asked. Luis grew indignant; he couldn’t believe I couldn’t see the obvious.
“Koreans are dogs!” He exclaimed. Touching his hair he explained to me,
“See my hair? Like silk! Korean hair not like silk. Too rough.”
And I thought I had it bad as a Latino in a white world.
Recently I made an observation to my wife about Korea; we were discussing economics and the better quality of Korean goods vis-à-vis Chinese and Japanese goods.
“The Koreans try harder. I said.” When she asked why, I said:
“Well, think of Korea as the Poland of the east. Sandwiched between China and Japan, and lorded over by one or the other for centuries, it does something to the national self-esteem. It’s like Poland caught between Germany and Russia, Poland has to work harder to shine.” She never saw it that way, but understood.
Getting back to the Bx 6 and Bx 13, where everyone is either African American, Dominican, Mexican, Asian, Arab, Puerto Rican, Ecuadorian, or African from Africa, believe me, we are fifty shades of brown.

How do you board a bus in the Bronx? Through the back door, of course!

How do you board a bus in the Bronx? Through the back door, of course!

When I was a kid growing up in Bedford Stuyvesant Brooklyn, I went to a P.S. and a junior High that were both almost 90% African American. I remember the black kids, who mostly had roots in the south, referred to the lighter-skinned black kids as “high yellow.” They didn’t look yellow to me, no more yellow than Asians, who like I said were referred to as yellow people then, but that’s what they were called.
So if you were “high yellow,” or “black as night,” you were out of luck as far as the average African American population went. It was better to be somewhere in between, like a mocha or dark caramel.

I found my father’s old Mexican passport a couple of years ago, and on it he is described as “Moreno.” Morro is brown in Spanish, and whence the word Morros comes from in Spanish. It was used to describe the Moorish invaders in the 8th century. Morros were simply, the brown ones.
So the word Moreno simply means “brownish one.”

papa

Much has been discussed about race in this country in recent months, due to the police killings involving people of color. But we have to remember that this is nothing new, and that cops kill white people too. It’s what happens when you get into an altercation with the police, you could end up beat up at best, and dead at worst. Best to stay out of their way. Like Bob Dylan said, “The cops don’t need you, and man, they expect the same.”

Enough about that, there is no end to the debate about race, and I don’t mean this to be that, a debate. I wanted to talk about race, since it’s something I think about often enough, and this being the week that “Fifty Shades of Grey” is released, I’ve got an easy hook for something more important than the bullshit S&M depicted in this book/movie. If you like that sort of stuff, read Pauline Reage’s “The Story of O.” Now that’s S&M. Or read “Justine” from the master himself.
This is just a simple observation that our society is not an integrated one by a long shot, it’s just not as strict as it used to be; and despite whatever color or shade we are, we are all the same inside, people afraid of other people that look different than we do.

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OH HAPPY DAY

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Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my friends, and to my lovely wife, Danusia. She sent me the picture of herself at the top; it was one of the first selfies she ever took with the iPhone I gave her a little over 4 years ago.
And no, the iPhone was not a Valentine’s gift, it was just a gift.
For Valentine’s day I usually take her out to dinner. Flowers, dinner and a card; but this year I picked up a surf-and turf special at Whole Foods that I’m going to cook later and we’ll have dinner in. I did get a card and a small gift, though.
On our first Valentine’s after moving in together we went to a place called Giando’s on the water, it’s a big fancy Italian restaurant on the East River in Williamsburg.
I used to see it on my daily trips over the bridge on the M or J trains, and I always wanted to have dinner watching the river flow, and planned on it for months.
It was a surprise to Danusia, and she was further surprised when we got the menu. There was a choice between two different dinners Table d’hote, and either choice was $150 for two. Plus tip. And we were not seated anywhere near the big windows that you could see the river from.

The lovely and beautiful Danusia.

The lovely and beautiful Danusia.

She wanted to leave, but I said no, we’re here so let’s enjoy it as much as we can. After all, we were together, and that’s what counted.
We’ve had better luck since then, a French Restaurant on Metropolitan Ave, a place called The Rabbit Hole on Bedford Avenue (food’s yummy and the atmosphere quiet and laid back, you’ll love it), and others but those are the standouts.
But being self-employed and not having a lot of money this year I opted for the stay at home dinner. But I’m a wonderful cook and the extra love I’ll be putting into the meal will make it special.
It doesn’t have to be fancy and expensive to be a special evening if you’re in love.
There is no stand out Valentine’s Day in the past to write about, but I do have a couple of them I could forget.
One was about 18 years ago, I was working for ACORN in Brooklyn on Valentine’s Day and that was the day they stiffed me for a paycheck and I had to go all the way to the Bronx to get it. I don’t care that the office manager gave me some chocolates in the morning; I quit after picking up my check.

This is my favorite picture of us.

This is my favorite picture of us.

Then there was the Valentine’s Day before I met Danusia, I was seeing a woman that I was really not that into, (I know, don’t kill me for that) and at the last minute I picked up some pink bubble bath thing at Duane Reed that had hearts on it and a card.
She was incensed, saying I gave no thought to the gift and wasn’t going to be treated like that. I told her she was right and ended the relationship.
She’d given me a piece of Turquoise set in silver on a leather thong; a necklace. I know it was a lot pricier than the bubble bath, but my hippie days ended a long time ago and there was no way I was ever going to wear it, so I don’t know how much thought went into that.
Luckily I met Danusia, and all of our gifts to each other, large and small, have been perfect. But I think the only reason they are perfect is because we accept each other for the people we are, rather than for the people we want each other to be.
If you are with someone like that, you are very lucky, and if you are not, or if you are alone this Valentine’s day, don’t give up hope, just open your heart and be accepting and the right person will come to you, or you to them.

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STORMY MONDAY

front

Well, yesterday wasn’t too bad, as storms go. At least here in the city.
I was off to my latest handyman adventure in the morning, and was a little worried about the weather. I’d gotten a call last week from a stranger, a guy named Chris who said he was from The Center For Fiction, he wanted to know if I could replace some fluorescent lights at the center and some minor work on doors and such. The only caveat was that I had to pick up the bulbs, 23 of them, and pay for them myself up front.
I’ve done that before, on the Task Rabbit thing, but this guy was a total stranger.
I looked up The Center For Fiction, and it’s a real place on East 47th street, so at least I know where to find this guy. I agreed.
Of the 23 bulbs two of them were 8-footers, five were 6-footers, and the rest were 4-footers. They aren’t heavy, but 23 of them is pushing it. I wondered how I would get them from the Home Depot on 59th Street and 3rd Avenue to 47th and Madison. The 8-footers meant a bus ride was out of the question. I could do the number 6 train, but taking the train one stop from 59th Street to 50th just didn’t seem to be worth the trouble. That left walking.
19 blocks is no big deal, just under a mile, but 19 blocks with 23 fluorescent bulbs during an ice storm is something else entirely. I was afraid of slipping on the ice.
At home depot they wrapped them up pretty good with that plastic wrap that sticks to itself, all I had to do was not slip and fall.
At the corner of 58th and Park I realized I also had to avoid the traffic lights hanging from the lampposts after I clipped one with the 8-footers. Luckily the bulbs did not break.

light
I made it through the ice storm without incident; sweating heavily and out of breath. Though the bundle weighed less than 20 pounds it was pretty unwieldy and took some effort to carry, especially trying tot to slip on the icy streets.
I found The Center for Fiction, an old loft building on the north side of 47th street just off Madison. I didn’t know what to expect, I had no idea what it was, but I didn’t expect a bookstore. I walked in with my bundle of lights and said to the young man behind the counter,
“Please tell me this is The Center For Fiction.”
“Yes, it is,” he answered.
“Are you Chris?”
“No, Chris is upstairs,” he said, picking up a phone. He called Chris who came down on the ancient elevator.
Chris appeared and showed me where lights needed replacing.
The two 8-footers and two of the 6-footers went in the stacks in the rear of the first floor, right behind the bookstore.

3
Then most of the 4-footers went on the 3rd floor, where the offices were. This is where Chris had his desk and managed a couple of very young women who sat in front of computers. They didn’t look very enthusiastic.
Chris himself looked pretty young; I don’t think he is past 30. But he was in charge, and he showed me where the lights went. His boss wasn’t in, he explained.
I went through the center, an old and dusty place with peeling paint and threadbare carpet everywhere. There was a reading room behind the offices, and there were stacks on 2 other floors besides the first. There is a lecture room where I had to put new wheels on an audio-visual cart loaded with amps and modems and all sorts of other crap. It was made of pressboard and I told Chris it was going to fall apart before the new wheels I was installing wore out. Chris said they’d worry about that when it happened.
The doors were a whole different story, the heavy front door’s door closer, that lever at the top that keeps the 300-pound door from knocking someone out by accident was shot and needed to be replaced. There was a door handle on the inner door that had no latch and swung free, it kept pulling off from the spindle because it’s so old and the spindle is worn smooth. I told Chris they needed to replace that as well.
When I was done, Chris asked for an invoice and told me the accountant would mail me a check.
This is the first time since I’ve been doing this that I’d heard that, but I realize that if this is what I’m to do, I’d better get used to it. I said OK and filled out an invoice for him. He said he’d talk to his boss after I gave him an estimate for fixing the doors.
The Center For Fiction is a weird non-profit established in the 1800’s. The current building was purpose-built for them in 1932, and being a non-profit not a lot of money has gone into its upkeep.
Before I left I asked Chris whom he’d gotten my name from, I thought it was one of my literary friends, but at turned out to be a woman named Paula, one of my first Task Rabbit customers. She’d put my name on a website she contributes to. I have to text her and thank her for the recommendation.

events
At any rate, besides making a little money I discovered a little known New York gem, and I wanted to share it with all of you. Do visit The Center For Fiction, it’s at 17 East 47th Street, buy some books, attend an event. Help them make some money so they can get those doors fixed. A screwdriver holding a 300-pound door open is a little funky.

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ANTS ON A LOG

where's the peanut butter

In the ‘80s my first wife and I lived on Houston Street off the corner of Clinton for five or so years. It was a very interesting time for the East Village, and one of the changes, or new things that came besides the Pyramid Club on Avenue A was the health food store on 1st Avenue between 7th and St. Marks place.
I liked it because it was cheap and funky, all the kids that worked there were real East Village characters with lots of hair and attitude.
When we had a kid in the late ‘80s and moved to Greenpoint we still went to the EV regularly because we had friends there, and frankly, because we missed it. I started buying the bulk-unsweetened bags of no-name cereal they sold, now that I had a kid that liked cereal for breakfast.
Another thing the store had that was new was the peanut butter machine, where you could grind your own peanut butter. They also had almonds and cashews for grinding, but peanuts were the cheapest and that’s what I bought.
I think this place was also the first to have a juicer, but not being into juicing I wasn’t so interested in juicers and didn’t pay that much attention, so I may be mistaken.
I’ve always been a big peanut butter fan; whenever I could I bought Skippy, sometimes Jif, which was more expensive. Often times I bought those no name store brands, which were the cheapest, but didn’t taste as good.
When I was a child growing up in the housing projects in Brooklyn, a lot of our neighbors were on welfare and would get these surplus food products from the government, I guess it was pre food stamps or something, but they would get these giant cans of peanut butter and 3 pound blocks of orange-colored cheese, it was a lot and some of them sold off their surplus-surplus for cigarette and beer money.
My mom would buy these cans and blocks, having four kids to feed and little money. I liked the peanut butter and was always happy when my mom got a can or two, I think it had something like 3 or 4 pounds of peanut butter in it, I know it was a huge can. I once heard the smallest child of one of the woman who sold her surplus exclaim;
“Ooh, I love that welfare peanut butter!” He was four years old and had a great smile.
I loved it too.
What happened the first time I bought the grind your own peanut butter at the health food store was that I was surprised at the taste and consistency. It just didn’t taste like peanut butter. It was bland and grainy and was a little like eating sand.

whole-foods-market-tenleytown-grind-your-own-nut-butter-bar_thumb
I went back the next week and tried again, maybe that was a bad batch and this one would taste different, more like Skippy. But it was no different.
My kid didn’t like it either, he wanted Skippy or Jif.

Peanut-Butter-Drive1
I had just discovered Ants On A log in some book about how to get your kid to eat healthier, it said to slice a banana in half, smear peanut butter on it, and dot it with raisins. My kid loved it.
For me I dispensed with the ants and the log and just ate the peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. It’s no wonder that I ballooned to almost 300 pounds when my kid was 5 or 6.
This was in the days before I was sent to a nutritionist, who explained about high-fructose corn syrup and the high fat content of nuts. I was sent to a nutritionist because I’d developed adult onset diabetes. I cut out the peanut butter, even the health food one that had no additives. I also discovered those were raw peanuts, with no salt added, ergo the big difference in taste.
The health food store closed some time ago, but most recently in my life, a different one that I’d had with my first wife and a hundred pound lighter I started shopping at Whole Foods. Since the nutritionist, who by the way probably weighed all of 90 pounds I’ve learned to read labels, and to avoid processed foods and high fructose corn syrup. Sugar of any kind if I can. I’m not always successful on that one, but I never eat anything with HFCS. I no longer drink soda, not even diet soda. Have you ever seen a skinny person drink diet soda? Think about that.
But that peanut butter keeps-a-call’in.
Whole Foods installed those nut grinders and I of course started buying fresh ground peanut butter. At least they (and Fairway) use roasted peanuts, and all I have to do is add salt to get the taste I like.

Just add salt.

Just add salt.

When Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s first came to New York I tried their store brand peanut butters, the kind without high-fructose corn syrup or partially-hydrogenated vegetable oils. These are added to peanut butter to give it a better consistency, but the body is not designed to process them and they become instant fat on your body. Another thing I learned from the nutritionist. Also known as trans-fats, stay away from the trans-fats.
I think I liked the Trader Joe’s better.

tj's pb
One night I was watching the Sopranos with my new wife Danusia, ant there was Tony Soprano sitting with his cronies and his son in front of the TV in his wife-beater eating Skippy out of the jar with a spoon. I was sitting in front of my TV with a jar of Trader Joe’s smooth peanut butter and a butter knife. It made me think. I lay off the peanut butter for a while, but succumbed when they put in the grinders.
Since remarrying and getting older the weight has crept up, I was pretty unhappy with the way I looked last year, having passed the 200-pound mark again. I stopped eating chips and hummus, and started eating solid nuts instead of peanut butter. Solid nuts are more work to eat, so you eat less.
So that’s the rule of thumb, the easier it is to eat, the fatter it will make you. I remember that and try and make the right choice. But I’m not always successful at it.

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ALL CONTINGENCIES

cold bench

I was going to call this post SNOW JOB because that’s what we got from the mayor and the governor last week. I lost a days pay because I couldn’t get downtown because the subways were closed.
I remember once riding the L train to Bushwick during a big snowstorm in ’96 and seeing actual snow drifts on the tracks between stations, and the train went really slow, but it didn’t get stuck. It snowed so much the snow was drifting in from the ventilation grates.
Then there was the storm in 2010 where I wasn’t sure there would be an M train, at the time I lived in Williamsburg and the J and M trains passed right by my window and I knew to the second when the next train was due, but the morning of the storm there was only eerie silence. I went up to the Flushing avenue station anyway and was rewarded with the sound of an M train pulling into the station. Of course it took an hour for it to get to Essex Street in Manhattan, a trip of normally 9 minutes, but the train got there. Some people out in Broad Channel weren’t so lucky, they had to get off the train and walk.
Here’s a picture I took on the train that morning:

sleep during storm

I understand how the mayor doesn’t want to lose his job because he wasn’t prepared for the snow, but there is such a thing as being over-prepared.
This country has the obsession to try and control everything, therefore we have all these laws and regulations and agencies and bureaucracies and red tape that it’s a wonder we ever get anything done.
And New York City (and State) is about the worst offender in the country, that’s why it’s so hard to run a business here and we keep losing them.
In the end, though, no matter how much you prepare for any eventuality, the unexpected always happens, and we find ourselves with egg on our collective faces again. So why bother?
Fear, that’s why. We live in a scared society. So we need laws and lawyers to give ourselves the illusion that we’re going to be safe and comfy. But the world is full of unsafe and uncomfortable situations, and we can’t control them all.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I can talk about how beautiful snow is, I love snow, wish it were around all of the time.
I’m not such a big fan of ice and slush, though.

cemetary
Last week’s storm was snow, just enough of it to make the city quiet and pretty for a few hours at least, and yesterday’s storm was that hybrid animal that you don’t know if it will bite you or run.
When I awoke yesterday I knew it was snowing because of how bright it was in the apartment, and how quiet it was. The kind of quiet you normally get in the country.
I didn’t even hear traffic out on Amsterdam Avenue, just over the roof of the garage next to our building. Just dead silence.
Snow is nature’s great sound absorber; the best sound insulation ever created. I wish I could fill the space in my walls with snow so I wouldn’t have to hear my neighbor’s loud parties, music, or TV sets. Or their scrapping chairs, footsteps, arguments, or banal conversations. Let me think about that one.
When I went out yesterday I was prepared to walk slow on the icy streets. It’s funny; the city prepares for everything but does nothing to keep the sidewalks clear and passable. That’s left to the building owners, and a lot of them find it too expensive to make sure the sidewalks in front of their property is cleared.
And then there are the stretches of sidewalk the city owns, like the block between 152nd Street and 151st on St. Nicholas Avenue. There is a community garden there called Convent Gardens, on account of Convent Avenue forms one side of the triangle that the garden is in. I wonder if it’s a play on the London Convent Gardens, or the name is just a fluke.
But that stretch of sidewalk was left uncleared for most of last week. There was no way I was going to try and negotiate that yesterday, so to get downtown I went to the 155th Street station to the north.
That entailed walking down the hill at 154th Street, and man, it was treacherous.
The snow had turned into a frozen rain by that point, and even though the super of the building on that corner had shoveled the snow, the sidewalk was now covered with a thin sheet of wet ice. The guy had not salted it yet.
So I made my way down the hill as slowly and gingerly as I could. I’m too old to take a fall these days.
Danusia slipped and fell the other day, she likes to walk fast and had on boots that don’t have a lot of traction. She skinned both knees.
When I came back it was snowing again, and a lot of the streets had been cleared, but now all of the crosswalks were a morass of water and slush. Luckily I bought a pair of Uggs waterproof shoes some years back (On sale at DSW) and was able to navigate these huge puddles without getting my feet wet.
But there was still ice in patches, and I had to pick the best streets to walk on. The Uggs are great for keeping your feet dry, not so hot on traction.
The best place to walk is by the Trinity Church cemetery on Amsterdam Avenue, they are always good about clearing their sidewalks. And besides, the cemetery looks beautiful covered in snow.

cemetary yesterday          snow cemetary
When I came home from my writing class last night the streets were in the last phase of what can happen to water in the winter. The temperature had dropped dramatically and everything was (mostly) frozen solid. I took a 1 train to 145th Street and Broadway where I hoped to catch an uptown bus.
As I waited for the bus I marveled at how empty Broadway was at 9PM on a weekday evening. There was hardly any traffic, and the mayor hadn’t ordered it done. And it was still pretty quiet, despite the herculean effort to remove the snow and ice by the Department of Sanitation.
That’s the best thing about heavy snow in the city, the peace and quiet it pulls over the city like a warm quilt.
Sometimes you just have to take what you get.

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HEAR THE WIND BLOW

balloons

I finally get a free Saturday today, so I can write a blog post. I was wondering what to write about, and since I haven’t done any work since I last posted, I can’t write about my latest project.
I can write about the movies I’ve seen lately, but I like to use photos I’ve taken so that’s out. But do see A Most Violent Year if you get the chance. I didn’t even realize that Oscar Isaac was the same guy that played Llewyn Davis until I read about the movie the next day. You’ll never think about the American dream the same way again.
And then there’s the weather.
When I worked as a doorman tenants would come off the elevator and ask, “Is it going to rain today?”

rain
I always wanted to say, “Why don’t you watch the news?” Or something smarmy like that, but what I’d always say was,
“Well, It might rain today. But then again it might not. Depends on the weather.” Some people stopped asking after that. Others were so oblivious to anyone else’s opinion that they’d forgotten I’d said the same thing to them the last time. I’m glad nobody asks me if it’s going to rain anymore.
Danusia always asks how cold it’s going to be. Or is. She has a little trouble translating Fahrenheit into Celsius. I’ve learned to say, “It’s very cold outside,” after saying it’s not too cold and then she complains it’s too cold when we get outside. She’s more sensitive to cold than I, I guess.
Another pet peeve is when people, most notably the tenants of 144 would say,
“Oh, you must hate the cold, coming from where you come from.” That’s a pretty racist assumption, that brown people from the hotter brown part of the world can’t take the cold.
“I come from Brooklyn,” was my stock answer. If I really wanted to be a dick I’d add:
“I wasn’t aware that Brooklyn is in the tropics.” I like the cold just fine, a lot more than I like the heat. At least you can bundle up in the cold, be comfortable and toasty. Until a portable air-conditioned suit is invented, there’s no comparison.
But what you can’t do anything about is the wind. Today it just about stopped me in my tracks, and yesterday it almost ripped a 6-foot 1×12 board out of my hands. And it cuts through most of your clothing like a cold knife.
Last night on the news the Chicken Little people were warning of frostbite on unprotected areas of your body “within minutes.” Fat chance of that in New York, but hey, you can always hope, ey?

This morning I went to Whole Foods for groceries, and I dressed appropriately. It said it was 15° outside on the TV.
Long sleeved, high collar knit shirt, thick fleece-lined hoodie, heavy socks and boots, Uniqlo synthetic down vest, long winter coat with hood, scarf, and my Crown coyote fur hat. This is it in the picture:

fur hat
Danusia’s wearing a fake fur hat in this picture, and I don’t know why, she has a beautiful raccoon fur hat I gave her the first Christmas together. But I guess the fake fur hat is warm enough. That picture is from last year’s trip to Hudson, NY for Maggie Estep’s funeral.
I don’t wear this hat unless it goes below 20° F. It’s so warm it feels like my head is on fire if I wear it in any temperature above that. I have a thinner sheepskin hat for above 20° and below 30°, I call it my Mongol hat because it looks Mongolian. Anything above 30° deserves only a hood.
But today I had on the hat, the hoodie hood, and a scarf around my mouth. I heard on the news that’s how you catch cold, by letting super cold air into your lungs.
I was really glad I don’t smoke anymore; it used to be a real pain in the ass trying to smoke in weather like this, and when I had a mustache and smoked, it was even worse. My breath would freeze on the mustache, the cigarette would burn holes in my gloves, ash would get blown in my eyes, and worse, the cigarette would go out, and you can’t light a cigarette with gloves on. Thank god for small favors.
At least the sun was out.

balloons 2
When I got back from Whole Foods I passed the clutch of balloons stuck in a tree in front of the Prince Hall Masonic temple on 155th Street by the subway entrance. They’ve been there since Monday when I took the picture at the top of this post. I was surprised that they are still there, a little worse for wear and rapidly deflating, but still in the tree. I wonder if the wind will finally rip them from their perch. If not, I’ll probably post a picture of what’s left on Tuesday’s post. That is, if I’m not working Tuesday.

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SEVEN YEARS/ NO SUBWAY TONIGHT

balloons

Yesterday was our seventh wedding anniversary, and thank you to all our friends who liked our picture on Facebook and offered comments, greetings, and congratulations.

It’s the second marriage for the both of us, and that’s a good thing because we both have a little experience in living with another person and relationships and stuff. We learned something in our “starter” marriages. I for one said I’d never do it again after the unpleasant parting of the ways with my first wife, but then I met Danusia. Never say never.

After a lazy day together we decided top go out to dinner, we were going to see a new movie, A Very Dangerous Year, but decided to stay in and then go to dinner.

Most of our anniversaries involve us going out to a restaurant we’ve heard is very good and then spend time walking around in the freezing cold looking for it and sometimes not finding it or finding it packed full of people and not being able to have dinner there, and last night was no exception.

Danusia wanted to go to an Italian place on Amsterdam Avenue and 123rd Street, Max Soha. A friend recommended it, so we hopped on the M-100 bus to 125th Street and walked up the incredibly steep hill to 123rd Street. We found the place and went in. It smelled great, but the place was packed. There was a really large group monopolizing half of their tables, and though there was a table for 2 at the far wall the waiter deemed it “too tight” and asked us to wait. We left after 10 minutes because it looked like it was going to be a long wait and I wasn’t happy that the waiter decided for us the table was “too tight.”

We walked up an even steeper hill than the first to Broadway.  I’d read reviews of a good place on 139th and Broadway. After my bus App said it would be 10 minutes to the next bus we opted for the subway on 125th Street. It was only one stop, but cold as it was last night it was worth taking the train.

The day we got married seven years ago it was 12°. We wore trench coats over our wedding clothing, since that was the classiest outer garment we had, and froze our asses off. Don’t get married in January if you’re going to spend time looking for restaurants on your anniversary.

Classy Trench coats, no?

Classy Trench coats, no?

We found the other restaurant that I’d looked at on Yelp, a place called Trufa. It’s popular with the City College crowd and tiny. I wondered how a place that sat 10 people could make any money until I noticed the delivery guy making many trips out. They have a thriving take out business.
What was lacking in atmosphere was made up by the quality of the food; I highly recommend it.
We got home just in time for Downton Abbey, and the news of the impending blizzard.

The day it snowed last week I knew it was snowing the second I got up. I get up before dawn every morning, and it’s dark enough that I walked into a wall the first week we were here. But on the snow day it was so light in the apartment I could see shadows. The snow reflects ambient light very well.

The first thing I did this morning was to go pick up the laundry, I didn’t want to try dragging my Whole Foods shopping cart through 2 feet of snow. Then I dressed and ate breakfast and went off to do some work for a gay couple I prepared an apartment for two months ago. Last week one of them called and said they were moving again, and needed me to take down all of the light fixtures and dimmers I’d installed and transfer them to the new place.
I thought it was a little odd that they were moving again in such a short period of time, but hell, if I make money at it they can move once a month and I’d be happy. I went on Saturday and got about half of what they needed done and promised to return today, so off I went into the rapidly developing snowstorm.

View from the 32nd floor.

View from the 32nd floor.

I finished with them around 2 PM, I was glad of that because from the window of their 32nd floor apartment I could see the snow getting worse, and I didn’t want to drag my tool bag roller through 2 feet of snow. By the time I got down to the street it looked like 4 or 5 inches of snow on the ground already.
Their place is on 60th Street and 9th Avenue, and I wanted to hit Whole Foods at Columbus Circle to stock up on milk and bananas and peanut butter. I slogged through the rapidly falling snow, dragging the tool bag though the worst of the snow-covered streets. I made it to Whole Foods and descended into barely controlled bedlam. I actually had to wait in a line to get a shopping cart. Kudos to the Whole Foods management for assigning staff to retrieve carts and baskets and hand them out to waiting customers. We’ll have no fistfights here, I thought; though I seriously did have the urge to knock out the fellow behind me on the checkout line who kept hitting the back of my ankles with his shopping cart.

whole foods bedlam

“Sorry! So sorry!” He apologized profusely and then did it again 20 feet later. I was happy when he was directed onto another line, the bastard.
It’s funny how when a storm comes everyone is suddenly galvanized into action, grabbing armloads of bread and meat and whatnot, like we were going to have a nuclear winter instead of a blizzard. I was glad to get out of there with my shins intact.
The trains were coming with regularity, but they were packed with people who’d left work early. If there was this much snow around Columbus circle, I dreaded walking home form 155th and St. Nicholas Ave. Lucky for me there was an M-3 bus that brought me three blocks closer to home waiting when I got off the train. All I had to do was walk up the hill from St. Nick to Amsterdam on 152nd Street, and I did that in the middle of the street, just stepping off to the side when cars came down the street.

It was nice and warm in the apartment when I finally got up the stairs. I turned on the news in time to hear the Governor say there would be no subways after 11 PM tonight. Made it in time!

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SHOPPING CART CITY

new shopping cart

I dropped off my laundry and went shopping at Fairway today, chores I haven’t been able to keep up with the past few weeks with all the work I’ve had. I used my trusty Whole Foods soft shopping cart.
These are very popular now, everybody’s got one, and it folds up when not in use and I hang it from a hook on the wall in my front hallway. I love this thing and use it for everything from carrying the laundry (I rest the laundry bag on the fold out shelf at the bottom) to transporting light tools to a job, besides the obvious food shopping duties.
My first shopping cart was a small all-metal cart I picked up at the container store 12 years ago. That one lasted till this past October, and it served me well, despite having to jury-rig a screw into one part of the frame that kept popping out and making the whole thing lopsided.

I put up some hooks to hang the cart on. Note the same sized wheels.

I put up some hooks to hang the cart on. Note the same sized wheels.

The best thing about that cart from the container store was the big wheels front and back. There are more traditional (and cheaper) carts that have big wheels in the back and small ones in the front.
I’d never even thought about the wheels until the woman where I used to do the laundry in Williamsburg mentioned it.
“That’s a nice little cart,” she commented one day I went to do the laundry.
“Thank you,” I replied, not knowing what to make of it.
“Where’d you get it?” I had to think about it, I’d forgotten that it was at the container store, and I told the woman she could get a small one like it at the local Food Bazaar across the street.
“No, those are different. I want one with big wheels like yours. The wheels are better quality, too.” Something else I hadn’t noticed. Then I remembered where I’d gotten it and told the woman.

Cheap cart with little wheels.

Cheap cart with little wheels.

“Well, I never go to Manhattan, do you think you can pick one up for me the next time you are there? I’ll pay you” That was pretty presumptuous of her, and I was kind of taken aback at her request, but then I thought it’s ok to do something nice for a stranger.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
I needed a new one, the whole thing about the jury-rigged screw on the top brace was offensive to my sense of equilibrium, so I thought about buying a new one and giving her the old one. That was kind of offensive too, so I went and got her a cart and gave it to her a few days later. I would soldier on with my old cart for the time being.
She was very happy despite the $50 it cost her, and it’s good to see people smile.

That old cart got a lot of use, when we were moving out of that apartment I used it to transport bags of garbage across the street to my landlord’s store, carried Christmas trees in it, and transported a giant plant (with thorns) that we needed to get rid of before we moved. Danusia gave the plant to a young friend of hers who lived 5 blocks up Broadway in Bushwick. The plant was over 5 feet tall and floppy besides being thorny, and heavy as hell. It reminded me of one of the weird plants in Beetlejuice.

tree in a cart

When the time came for a new one I remembered the soft ones at Whole Foods, and it was only $24, half the price of the container store cart. It keeps stuff dry, and it’s easy to carry up 5 flights of stairs, so I’m glad I chose it over another all metal cart.

I was on the subway last month and saw this homeless guy with a cart, two carts actually, but I only took a picture of this one, the one with all the shoes on it:

He's even got extra wheels!

He’s even got extra wheels!

He was pretty clever, managing to tie all sorts of stuff onto the side of the carts in addition to all the stuff he had inside. Shopping carts are very handy indeed.
So today I spent over $100 at Fairway, too bad I forgot the coupon I’d gotten the last time that would have saved me $15. Maybe next time.
It was a lot of stuff, and the cart was pretty heavy, it was a real workout to get it up the hill from the river to Broadway on 132nd Street and I dreaded walking up 5 flights of stairs with it. But when I got home I just took it slow and let the cart rest on every third step. Good exercise, I told myself.
We got rid of the metal one, Danusia wanted to put a sign on it but I assured her someone was going to take it, either another tenant or an enterprising homeless person, so we are down to this one:

Stuffed to the gills.

Stuffed to the gills.

I wonder how I’m going to get the Christmas tree in it, though.

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INSURMOUNTABLE

radiator after

Yesterday I was supposed to screen the floor and give it two coats of polyurethane and I would be done with the suite on Central Park West that I’d started on two Mondays ago.

I got up in the morning wishing I could just stay home and watch TV and just forget about it. I had reached my limit, my peak, I’d done everything I could and wanted to do no more. But I had agreed to do the floor and the guy was moving in this week. I said what I meant and I meant what I said, so…

When I had given the estimate to the guy’s wife, I’ll call her Sue, she asked about the floor. The floor looked pretty bad even in the low light of a Friday upper West Side evening, and I said “I don’t do floors,” despite the fact that I’d done one for a friend just last month. I’d done that one because the guy had a car and we’d gone to pick up the sander together and he’d paid for everything. All I had to do was the actual work.

“I don’t have a car or a sander,” I told Sue.
“Couldn’t you rent one and have it delivered?”
“They don’t deliver floor sanders, Mamm.”

She persisted, and I said I would ask a friend for a ride, maybe. We left it at that and I started work on Monday. For those who didn’t read my last post it was a lot more work than I’d bargained for or even made allowances for, I thought I could fix the place up in a couple of days, paint it in one, and sand the floor on Friday.
Yesterday was the second Friday, and it wasn’t till the day before that I’d actually finished painting.

I wasn’t able to secure a ride, and I called the guy from a car service that had driven me and my ladder to the job the first day. A local guy called Chicho. Don’t ask. Chicho agreed to meet me in front of Home Depot in the Bronx, and I got on the Bx 6 for the ride to River Avenue. I was lucky and caught the Bx 13 to Home Depot down River Avenue.

during

There was no one in the tool rental and a woman from another department agreed to help. I found the machine I needed, picked out 2 gallons of water-based polyurethane and the attendant supplies, applicator, sanding screens, etc. I checked out and dragged the 100-pound machine up the ramp to the street through the parking lot. I waited for Chicho and fought off entireties of “taxi, taxi” form all of the out of work guys who bring their vans and SUV’s to Home Depot everyday in hopes of making a buck.
“I already got somebody, thanks,” I would tell them. Chicho was a half hour late and more than once I wished I’d taken one of those rides.

Chicho drove me to 95th Street and agreed to pick me up at 4 PM, the time I had to be out. He charged me $30.

The porter took me up to the 13th floor and I got to work. I started patching some of the bigger gaps in the floor with plastic wood. The parquet floor tiles were loose, and I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to get to every crack. I did the worst spots, and saw that I was right to suggest a screening, this was mostly the original 84-year-old floor and it really needed to be replaced. Any sanding and there would be nothing left to it.

I spot sanded a few tiles with an orbital sander and decided to start with the machine. It was after noon already and I wanted to get the first coat of poly on by 1.
When I stood up and put down the pad and screen I noticed that I had not taken the power cord to the machine.

sanded floor

This is the moment when a less mentally stable person runs to the window and throws it open and shouts, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore” before going out the window like Woody Allen’s documentary subject in Manhattan. I love it when Woody Allen reads the suicide note, “I’ve gone out the window.”
I would have at least had a nice view of Central Park on the way down.

I felt like the biggest idiot in the world, how can you rent a machine like this and forget the power cord? I just wanted to quit, to walk away and just leave everything, call Sue and say, “find someone else.” But what I did do was put on my coat, get the paperwork from Home Depot and make my way to the D train to the Bronx. I got off near Yankee Stadium and checked my Bus Time app and saw that the next Bx 13 bus was 8 minutes away. I started up the hill to Home Depot a half-mile away.
I knew I would not be done today, so I called Sue’s husband, who is the one occupying the office in the first place. I asked if I could come back in the morning to put an additional coat down. He said OK and would meet me there in the morning to let me in.
I wondered if the Home Depot staff would believe me that I’d forgotten the cord, but the girl at the tool rental was pretty cool, “are you sure this is the right machine? The cords are different, you know.”
It was a three-prong cord and I pointed to what I thought was the machine I had. Luckily I chose right.
“That’s a $100 cord, don’t cut it on me,” the girl said.
“I promise not to cut it.”

The plan had been this, I would put down one coat of poly, and while that was drying I would take my Mile vacuum cleaner home on the subway and have lunch, go back by 3 PM to put down another coat and then take the car service back with the machine after I was done. This was out of the question now.
When I exited Home Depot a black man that was whittling a point onto a pencil with a big knife approached me.
“Taxi, mister?”
“How much to 95th and CPW?”
“$15.” Just then I spotted a Hallal guy manning a lunch stand. I walked up to the stand with my new driver in tow. I agreed to the ride and ordered a chicken Gyro.
We waited silently for the Gyro, me with my big yellow cable slung over one shoulder and taxi driver whittling his pencil point as the Arab guy chopped, scrapped and built my Gyro.
“White sauce, mister?”
“Yes, please.” Taxi driver finished his point and handed the knife to the Hallal guy, who handed me my finished Gyro. I handed him $4 and we walked over to the guy’s car. I wondered if he would have charged me more if I had that big stupid machine with me.
He dropped me by the building, and I rode back up with Ralph the elevator porter.
“You finish?”
“Almost.” Ralph has been taking me up and down every day for the past 2 weeks. He and the rest of the staff are eastern Europeans, a little nepotism at work. I know they are not Polish, I recognize Polish by listening to Danusia talk. I haven’t heard tak or dobra once, so I know they aren’t Polish. I suspect they are Serbs, but I didn’t ask.

I wolfed down my Gyro while staring at the park, I am going to miss the view. When I was done I attached the cord to the waiting machine and went to work.
When the three pads I bought were thoroughly trashed I was done. I vacuumed up, mopped the floor and emptied out the room. I put down the first coat of poly and was done at 3:40, just in time to change and go down to meet Chicho. He showed up a little after 4.
Today I showed up and met Rod; I’ll call him Rod, Sue’s husband. We went up to look at the suite and he was very pleased with the work.
“Sue had an accident, so I will have to take care of you, how did you leave the payment?”

“Well, we never really discussed it, but here is my invoice.”

“How do you want to be paid?”

“A check is fine,” I said. He agreed to come and meet me after I was done with a check. He left and I spent the next 2 hours putting down 2 more coats of poly and cleaning up. I called Rod when I was done and he met me in front of the building. He handed me a check for the amount I’d asked for, and added a very generous tip on top. He was very happy with my work. I was very happy too.

last look.

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MORE THAN I CAN CHEW

luck

When my unemployment ran out a couple of months ago I experienced a moment of panic, a what am I going to do now moment? I knew nothing would change right away, and I do have some savings, so I just soldiered on.

I’ve been doing odd jobs for cash since I lost my job, $30 here, $200 there. Mostly I sat home and wrote or watched TV. I did have plenty to do when we had to move suddenly last October, but it was a generally idyllic time for me. But more productive than the last time I was on unemployment, 18 years ago.
That time I sat at home and ate, built model airplanes, and watched TV until the wife and kid came home from school and work. Except for the model airplanes which nobody but me gave a shit about it was a pretty unproductive existence.

Back then I’d gotten fired from a shoe store, I’d been a sort of orthotic technician/shoe repairman/salesman, and had no real skills. I guess making orthotics counts as a skill, but who wants to make orthotics?

Then I got the job in the building, where I managed to learn some marketable skills. I learned how to install stuff, fix plumbing and wiring, and make apartments look presentable.

Which is where I found myself for the last two weeks, making a dump of an office space look presentable.

This is what the sills and covers looked like at first.

This is what the sills and covers looked like at first.

When I met the woman who wanted to hire me it was late, and pretty dark in the room I was to fix up. It looked like it needed work, but the person moving out was still there, and so were his pictures and furniture, so it was kind of hard to gauge the work and make an estimate. I gave a ridiculously low estimate, and when I saw the place for the first time in good daylight, I wanted to kick myself. I had estimated it would take a week to fix this place up and paint it; after all, it was just one 400 square foot room. Incidentally, the room was bigger than the last apartment I had when I lived by myself. I’ve been in there for seven days already.

Fixed cover and sill.

Fixed cover and sill.

But I was in, the price I’d quoted would pay the rent for the next two months and I didn’t have to worry about that. But life goes on, and I started getting phone calls.
I put up some shelves for Mr. M’s girlfriend, that had been scheduled a while ago and I went over Saturday to do that. Sunday I was sick so I stayed home. Then I got a call Monday from a guy I’ll call L, I’ve done some work for him before and he wants a new sink and vanity put in, plus a flat screen TV hung on the wall. I could make a good living just hanging flat screen TVs.

It thought I could squeeze him in this week; after all he is only 10 blocks from the office job. But after I started painting yesterday I knew I wasn’t going to have time for him this week. I called him to cancel, he wasn’t happy, but there’s not a lot that can be done. I can’t be in two places at once.

The best thing about this job is the view; the room is on the 13th floor of a building on Central Park West, catty-corner to the park. The second day I was there it snowed, and I ate lunch looking at the snow-covered park. It was like a postcard.

view

When I finally started painting yesterday, after a week of scraping, filling, sanding, and rebuilding the windowsills and disintegrating radiator covers I was dismayed to see the paint was not covering too well.

I started on the ceiling, and incidentally I found a 4-foot crack in the ceiling I hadn’t noticed before, this had to be repaired before I could paint that section of ceiling and I wanted to kick myself for missing it in the first place. After a day of painting the ceiling, more than two coats in places, it still looked like shit. Very patchy, even in the places where I didn’t do any repairs. I hated the paint, Benjamin Moore “one coat” paint. One coat my ass. It seemed like I was going to be in this place forever.

Pretty bad, huh?

Pretty bad, huh?

When I went in today, to my surprise the section of ceiling I’d given three coats looked great. Even the 4-foot gash was undetectable, just look at the picture:

The crack is gone.

The crack is gone.

Well, that was heartening. I quickly got to work and put another coat on the other two sections of ceiling (there are two crossbeams that divide the ceiling into three sections) and started on the walls. I went around the room three times, and the walls looked wonderful. And I still had two gallons of unopened paint. I over estimated how much paint I would need.

The room is going to look wonderful when I’m done, Friday’s the day I’ll be out of there and I’ll be ready for some new adventures. And I learned a couple of things, like never to give an estimate in the dark and you only need two gallons of paint for a 400 square foot room. Anybody need any paint? It’s a nice color.

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