Do you ever get an itch right in the middle of your back that just can’t be reached? Of course you do. We all do. Sometimes it seems that the itch is always there, annoyingly teasing, irresistibly out of reach.

Scratch that itch! But how, if you can’t reach it?
A back scratcher, of course.
I remember when I was a kid my mom had a wooden one carved in the shape of a monkey’s paw. It was a little scary and I think I preferred scratching against a doorjamb rather than to touch that spooky back scratcher.
I kept imagining that it would suddenly come alive and rip my lungs out.
Here’s one made from an actual chicken claw:

That’s beyond spooky.
Of course we’ve all seen bears scratching their backs on trees, I did that once and ruined the shirt I was wearing, the tree sap made the material translucent somehow. I stick to doorjambs nowadays. Or use a backscratcher!

This one’s a little more obscene:

Here’s a telescoping one I gave Danusia a long time ago:

I like the way it has a clip on the end like a pen, unfortunately even fully retracted this thing is around ten inches long and is not fitting in anyone’s pocket. But a cute idea nonetheless.
Danusia likes to use this thing:

Of course this is a BACK SCRUBBER, rather than a backscratcher, but it does feel nice. Covers a wider area of itch as well.
When I was married to my first wife, for our last Christmas together we gave each other the same identical back scrubber, from Bed, Bath, and beyond.
We separated not long after that.
If you ever get any kind of gift from your spouse from Bed Bath and beyond, you’d better run.